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Last Men On Earth

Lex Jurgen & Matt Ralston are the last bastion of true masculinity in a world full of halfwit yes-men cowering before Lena Dunham. Holed up in a storage closet, they broadcast their weekly manifesto to any remaining members of the male species who dare listen.
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Oct 1, 2015

Special guest Will Lupardus (@WilliamLupardus) joins us this week to talk about #BlackLivesMatter's plan to disrupt the Twin Cities Marathon, Gigi Hadid's amazing assets bringing her body shaming, and whether Fantasy Football is more masculine or more nerdy. Also, Lex laments the rise of narcissism amongst young people, Matt touches on copulation methods (and their qualified medical assistants) for people like legless lingerie model Kanya Sesser, and allegations by Azealia Banks that the LGBT lobby is just like the KKK, or something. And then all three guys discuss their "bottom five," their lists of the worst people in the world!

Sep 23, 2015

Was Ahmed Mohamed unfairly targeted for his homemade clock, or was he just screwing with his Texas school and the media? Can celebrities ever just screw up without blaming a previously-undiagnosed condition? Will black actors ever stop talking about oppression? Is there anyone left in Hollywood who isn't gay or bisexual? Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston attack these pressing topics, plus Alyssa Milano's breastfeeding Nazis, the #revolution of #ThighBrows, and the #NewFace of #SocialActivism: retweeting for the cause (and reward points for concert tickets and prizes and stuff)!

Sep 16, 2015

Lex and Matt are back after a week off, and today they're joined by special guest and comedian Pete Giovine!  

Should journalists straight up ask people like Tom Hardy if they’re gay? Was Emily Ratajkowski’s topless music video her worst gig ever? Do you even know who she is without us telling you she was in Robin Thicke's “Blurred Lines” video? This, plus a middle school dare gone criminally wrong, a fashion model with Down syndrome, a Floyd Mayweather retrospective, and a topless protest of a French Muslim conference on wife beating!

Sep 4, 2015

Were this year's VMAs the worst ever, or is it just teen culture in general that's awful? Is there a bias against women with fat asses, or is it just Nicki Minaj? We also discuss a pro wrestler's murder charge, a herpes empowerment blog, Matt's worst job, a literal, organized slut parade, and Caitlyn Jenner carrying the torch (not a euphemism).

Aug 28, 2015

It's tough being a football fan what with all the raping and the beating on the part of the players. Plus now there's not even the comfort of your Ashley Madison account or grown man surgically adjusted to look like young Justin Beiber to turn to. It's even getting risky to fuck your high school teacher these days. What have we become? Let's at least put Terence Howard in jail on TV if we can't jail him in real life, and take all the booze off the USC campus to punish everyone for Steve Sarkisian's imaginary problem.

Aug 12, 2015

Pedophiles run Hollywood, luckily Ben Affleck found a fully grown nanny. Trump leads a clown race, Kylie Jenner ruins birthdays forever while Kiran Ghandi ruins marathons, leading Lex to run away with a dolphin.

Jul 29, 2015

A dentist kills a lion, drugs kill Bobbi Kristina Brown, a hooker kills a serial killer, the Cosby 35 shoot to kill, and there's a new transsexual modeling agency so could we please just let Kylie Jenner fuck legally already?

Jul 27, 2015

Cosby's exposed, Cruise may be exposed, Cait is overexposed, Ashley Madison users are exposed, 50 Cent exposed as broke, and God exposes himself to Russell Wilson.

Jul 16, 2015

Rue from the Hunger Games claims Kylie Jenner appropriates black culture, Lex & Matt claim the Duggar family appropriate cult culture, Donald Trump claims Mexicans appropriate our women & belongings, and Serena Williams appropriates masculinity while Caitlyn Jenner appropriates the Arthur Ashe courage award.

Jul 8, 2015

It's a wacky, mixed-up world. Jason Pierre-Paul gets sidelined by a firework while George Takei does an end zone dance, De'Andre Jordan goes full Mayweather, Dukes of Hazard is cancelled while ESPN does art porn. At least Ben Affleck is free to get his freak on now, released from the bonds of marriage. Sail on, Holden.

Jul 1, 2015

Will Larry Nance Jr. forgive Kobe Bryant? Will Paris Hilton forgive her Egyptian pranksters? Who gives a fuck, at least Donald Trump is still entertaining.

Jun 24, 2015

Obama deploys the N-Bomb, Belgians kill themselves and Miley Cyrus ruins life for all men. Matt argues against sports but in favor of an IQ-based age of consent, Lex wishes Caitlyn Jenner a happy Father's Day while leering at his underage daughter.

Jun 20, 2015

Miley's gender fluidity is as believeable as Hillary's Spotify playlist, Amy Schumer starts a waiter-based charity foundation and Lisa Lampanelli tells Lex & Matt she's pissed Louis CK never masturbated in front of her. This episode sponsored by ThePornDude.com!

Jun 13, 2015

In a world that needs heroes, can't Dr. Drew keep his mouth shut? Now all we have are the creepy Hatch Kids. Meanwhile Miley Cyrus is suddenly gay, but luckily sexism has always been fine.

Jun 6, 2015

Caitlyn Jenner descends from heaven, Sylvester Stallone pimps his teen daughter, and Louis CK might be tugging his little comic in front of others.

Jun 3, 2015

Everyone in FIFA gets arrested, the Duggars protect their molest-y son Josh, model Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds on the cover of Elle, and a DJ in Denmark beats a rabbit to death on the air to make a point about something.

Jun 3, 2015

Women vs. Hollywood, Mad Max vs. feminism, plus-size models vs. their own clothes, NYPD vs. men over 40 and Kylie Jenner vs. high school.

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