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Last Men On Earth

Men had a decent run on this planet. We can go sullen face into the abyss of feminist asexual reproduction and guys from spin class who order beer with hints of fruit or we can face the end of masculinity with a stiff upper lip, a purpose-filled boner, and some understanding of how the fuck we got stamped for extermination in the first place. I can’t remember which option involves less work. Maybe we’ll just do the sullen face thing. The Last Men on Earth isn’t an exaggeration. Search your newsstands, magazine racks, and online hotspots. There’s a war on scrotums and the scrotes are losing. Badly. No, you don’t get a last cigarette. Those were targeted for elimination before the men. You can’t fight what you don’t believe exists. Death is coming in the form of one politically correct Grim Reaper. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to have something I could call my own. Not the pants my dad poached from drunk midgets in parking structures or the bicycle with one wheel he told me would take me on grand imaginary adventures. Something special. On Last Men on Earth, we say what we want, even if that means being pushed to the front of the extruder line. See you on the other side. Ask Hank for the fresh doughnuts. He’ll know whether or not you earned them. Lex
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Now displaying: May, 2017
May 31, 2017

Lex and Matt are back to Rocco's in Studio City after a week off as they tackle Kathy Griffin's Trump stunt, a sportswriter fired for a tweet about the Japanese Indy 500 winner, Jamie Foxx's high school sex life, Tiger Woods's fade, Rolling Stone calling the Manchester Ariana Grande bombing "misogynistic," how Wonder Woman became an idol among Hollywood women, and Ashley Graham's big, fat segment on Steve Harvey's show before the Fire Marshall shuts us down

May 17, 2017

As if mommy bloggers weren't already the most annoying people on social media, one had to up the ante and give birth on Facebook Live. Lex and Matt head back to Rocco's Tavern in Studio City to probe this subject, plus the sudden unpopularity of the name Caitlyn (thanks, Jenner...), Gabourey Sidibe's precious double-shaming allegation, female airplane cup pissings, and Steve Harvey's unexplainable success. Plus, Matt explains the problems inherent in a sports league where everyone's having sex with one another (okay...the WNBA), and Lex talks with his gender fluid child about why his panties are in a bunch this week.

May 11, 2017

Can a Florida man prove his innocence by whipping out his cock? If nobody cares about your public breastfeeding, are you really a hero? And did you hear about that shark attack on a porn star?  Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston have a rousing discussion on these topics as well as Emma Watson's MTV Awards speech, Robert DiNiro ranting about Trump, the crazy shit that goes on at Diddy's house, and George Michael's last boyfriend.

May 4, 2017

Who does V Magazine think the target audience for Ashley Graham's nude photos is? Lex and Matt dive deep into this and Rosie O'Donnell nakedly chasing her teen daughter around with a wine bottle, Mark Zuckerberg's "listening tour," selling murderers' cars, Fox News sexual harassment house-cleaning, the dumbass models blindly promoting the disastrous FyreFest, and Lonzo Ball's dad milking him for all he's worth.

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