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Last Men On Earth

Men had a decent run on this planet. We can go sullen face into the abyss of feminist asexual reproduction and guys from spin class who order beer with hints of fruit or we can face the end of masculinity with a stiff upper lip, a purpose-filled boner, and some understanding of how the fuck we got stamped for extermination in the first place. I can’t remember which option involves less work. Maybe we’ll just do the sullen face thing. The Last Men on Earth isn’t an exaggeration. Search your newsstands, magazine racks, and online hotspots. There’s a war on scrotums and the scrotes are losing. Badly. No, you don’t get a last cigarette. Those were targeted for elimination before the men. You can’t fight what you don’t believe exists. Death is coming in the form of one politically correct Grim Reaper. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to have something I could call my own. Not the pants my dad poached from drunk midgets in parking structures or the bicycle with one wheel he told me would take me on grand imaginary adventures. Something special. On Last Men on Earth, we say what we want, even if that means being pushed to the front of the extruder line. See you on the other side. Ask Hank for the fresh doughnuts. He’ll know whether or not you earned them. Lex
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Now displaying: March, 2017
Mar 23, 2017

Lex and Matt descend upon Rocco's Tavern in Studio City to hammer the week's most pressing topics: Kesha losing in court again instead of making good music, Scott Disick's sex addiction, how funny Chelsea Handler is, the marital and ethical strains caused by your wife fucking a middle schooler, a women-only table read of "Juno," Alejandra Campoverdi's Maxim photos and fake Streisand Effect attention bait, and...yeah, people are actually paying to rent raccoons in Russia. 

Mar 15, 2017

Lex and Matt discuss Justin Bieber being a dick to his fans like we all wish we could do, Snoop Dogg's fake shooting of a fake Trump, Mama June's hotness, the Texas masturbation protest bill, Pamela's Anderson's...well, technically it's poetry, for Julian Assange, and that Wall Street yuppie humping the statue of a little girl staring down the statue of a bull, prompting a discussion on rodeos in which our resident Wyomingite and sound engineer Brian wishes he thought of the pun "Dancing With the Steers" before typing this just now.

Mar 8, 2017

It's the day of the Day Without a Woman protest, or strike, or walk-out, or whatever. Lex and Matt are back at Rocco's Tavern to explore this, Beauty and the Bestiality, why Snapchat is worth so damn much money, Harrison Ford somehow still having a pilot license, fat models, and when celebrities die of "natural causes"

Mar 1, 2017

Never mind that Best Picture fuck-up at the Oscars, what's with them bringing a three-strike felon on stage? Matt joins Lex and his gender-neutral child, Bobby, at Rocco's Tavern in Studio City for a deep discussion on this and Emma Watson's "Beauty and the Beast" feminist revision, ABC's "When We Rise" miniseries on gay rights, that cheating HuffPo blogging marathoner, intentional fatness for body positivity, and more transexual toilet talk. 

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