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Last Men On Earth

Men had a decent run on this planet. We can go sullen face into the abyss of feminist asexual reproduction and guys from spin class who order beer with hints of fruit or we can face the end of masculinity with a stiff upper lip, a purpose-filled boner, and some understanding of how the fuck we got stamped for extermination in the first place. I can’t remember which option involves less work. Maybe we’ll just do the sullen face thing. The Last Men on Earth isn’t an exaggeration. Search your newsstands, magazine racks, and online hotspots. There’s a war on scrotums and the scrotes are losing. Badly. No, you don’t get a last cigarette. Those were targeted for elimination before the men. You can’t fight what you don’t believe exists. Death is coming in the form of one politically correct Grim Reaper. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to have something I could call my own. Not the pants my dad poached from drunk midgets in parking structures or the bicycle with one wheel he told me would take me on grand imaginary adventures. Something special. On Last Men on Earth, we say what we want, even if that means being pushed to the front of the extruder line. See you on the other side. Ask Hank for the fresh doughnuts. He’ll know whether or not you earned them. Lex
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Now displaying: July, 2016
Jul 29, 2016

Lex and Matt kick back at the lush Rocco's Tavern to discuss Sarah Silverman's Anonymous Twitter hijacking, some crazy "independent" British family who depends on your crowdfunding help, Tobias Strebel as he pertains to plastic surgery ethics, a "hyena man" in Africa, early-retiring NFL players and their potential to marginalize football, crazy Randy Quaid, and Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's doctor and killer (kind of), finally confirms that the King of Pop was, indeed, a pedophile (not a moment too soon)

Jul 25, 2016

Lex and Matt discuss Ashley Graham's weight loss angles, a water polo girl's touching story, Kobe Bryant's family financial advice, DNC leaked emails, Brandy suing her label for slavery, what Kim Kardashian charges per hour, and Star Trek social engineering. 

Jul 18, 2016

Lex and Matt discuss Jennifer Aniston's open letter to pregnancy rumor starters, the honor killing of Pakistani Kim K, Peeping Playboy Playmate Dani Mathers (after an uncomfortably long and detailed discussion on Hef's penis), broke-ass rappers who act all rich, the new Girl Ghostbusters film, Amy Schumer suddenly remembering how she was raped, and Victoria Beckham involving her child in her attention-whoring endeavors.

Jul 6, 2016

Lex taps into Matt's fury about YouTube star Calum McSwiggan's fake hate crime, Kevin Durant joining the team that just ended his playoff run, John Cena's diversity ad, someone who willfully changed his name to "Boozie Badazz," Ashley Madison's downfall, and the art of the threesome (the last two topics are not necessarily related)

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