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Last Men On Earth

Men had a decent run on this planet. We can go sullen face into the abyss of feminist asexual reproduction and guys from spin class who order beer with hints of fruit or we can face the end of masculinity with a stiff upper lip, a purpose-filled boner, and some understanding of how the fuck we got stamped for extermination in the first place. I can’t remember which option involves less work. Maybe we’ll just do the sullen face thing. The Last Men on Earth isn’t an exaggeration. Search your newsstands, magazine racks, and online hotspots. There’s a war on scrotums and the scrotes are losing. Badly. No, you don’t get a last cigarette. Those were targeted for elimination before the men. You can’t fight what you don’t believe exists. Death is coming in the form of one politically correct Grim Reaper. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to have something I could call my own. Not the pants my dad poached from drunk midgets in parking structures or the bicycle with one wheel he told me would take me on grand imaginary adventures. Something special. On Last Men on Earth, we say what we want, even if that means being pushed to the front of the extruder line. See you on the other side. Ask Hank for the fresh doughnuts. He’ll know whether or not you earned them. Lex
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Now displaying: April, 2016
Apr 29, 2016

Is Azealia Banks right about Beyonce using black stereotypes to sell records to white people, even if she's just a black stereotype herself? Is Blac Chyna's purple Lamborghini gift from Rob Kardashian just proof of her being a whore? And what the hell is up with Adam LaRoche's undercover sex sting in Vietnam? Lex and Matt probe these tender topics as well as Female Ted Cruz's porn deal, Leonardo DiCaprio finding time to speak to the UN between banging countless babes, Lena Dunham's threat to leave the US if Hillary Clinton isn't elected president, Prince's Percocet use, and Target restrooms.

Apr 22, 2016

Can Tess Holliday be fat-shamed and pregnant-shamed simultaneously? After Dax Shepard’s confession, is there anyone left in Hollywood who HASN’T been molested? And James Franco, who won’t stop talking about his sexuality, is upset that people won’t stop talking about his sexuality. Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston probe all these deep topics, as well as Cheryl Burke feeing suicidal over working with Ian Ziering on Dancing With the Stars, the death of Prince, Curt Schilling getting fired for speaking his mind about trans people taking shits, and Harriet Tubman replacing Andrew Jackson on $20 bills.

Apr 15, 2016

The Lakers celebrate Kobe's retirement as they win the final game of the worst season in their history, Johnny Manziel and Lamar Odom seem to just want to drink themselves to death, Erykah Badu thinks girls should "lower their skirts" because men are animals with no self control, and Bow Wow (he's not Lil' anymore) fakes his wealth. Lex and Matt are back to talk about these important happenings, as well as the Equal Pay for Women Monument, secret totally-not-gay societies at Harvard and similar elite institutions, and Ted Cruz's bizarre story involving a hoard of Campbell's Soup. 

Apr 11, 2016

Jennifer Lawrence says something about body image issues, Azealia Banks says something about Sarah Palin on Twitter, Jennifer Lopez says "produce my new single" to Dr. Luke, and Matt mentions a new fashion trend called "period skirts." Oh, and Tom Cruise's Scientology fortress.

Apr 2, 2016

No April fools here, just Lex and Matt talking about a Broadway production that put out a casting call preferring non-whites, Lamar Odom drinking again, the ethical implications of extorting money from the Kardashian family, an overexposed videogame ass, a cop bothered by Elton John's gay come-ons, and more!

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