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Last Men On Earth

Men had a decent run on this planet. We can go sullen face into the abyss of feminist asexual reproduction and guys from spin class who order beer with hints of fruit or we can face the end of masculinity with a stiff upper lip, a purpose-filled boner, and some understanding of how the fuck we got stamped for extermination in the first place. I can’t remember which option involves less work. Maybe we’ll just do the sullen face thing. The Last Men on Earth isn’t an exaggeration. Search your newsstands, magazine racks, and online hotspots. There’s a war on scrotums and the scrotes are losing. Badly. No, you don’t get a last cigarette. Those were targeted for elimination before the men. You can’t fight what you don’t believe exists. Death is coming in the form of one politically correct Grim Reaper. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to have something I could call my own. Not the pants my dad poached from drunk midgets in parking structures or the bicycle with one wheel he told me would take me on grand imaginary adventures. Something special. On Last Men on Earth, we say what we want, even if that means being pushed to the front of the extruder line. See you on the other side. Ask Hank for the fresh doughnuts. He’ll know whether or not you earned them. Lex
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Now displaying: November, 2015
Nov 18, 2015

I guess the only thing odd about Charlie Sheen having HIV is the fact that he went on The Today Show to announce it. But could you imagine if he just wrote that on a restaurant receipt where the tip is supposed to go, just like other people do to shock their servers and whoever else sees it once it goes, well, y'know...viral? And it's hard enough being a widower of a 9/11 first responder, but then Glamour Magazine had to go and give the same Woman of the Year award to some transsexual named Caitlyn Jenner, so James Smith basically had no choice but to posthumously return his wife Moira's award, right? Lex and Matt are back to talk about these intense topics, along with the ridiculousness of whiny college kids wanting to feel safe from even the most laser-specific "triggers" and "microaggressions" while in school, the latest on Lamar Odom and Khloe and the rest of the Kardashians, and this age of misinformation and #slacktivism on social media. Plus, Matt reveals that he's in a Twitter war with rapper 2 Chainz regarding his threatening lyrics and tweets toward a certain female fan. Also, mark November 17, 2020 down in your calendars, because Matt has officially set the over-under on Charlie Sheen's inevitable death at five years.

Nov 12, 2015

Jeff Richards is our special guest this week as he and Matt Ralston try to pass Lex Jurgen's Big Gay Quiz! They also discuss the recent spat between Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent, and whether or not Fiddy's claim that she licked his asshole is actually a gay comeback to gay allegations. Plus, is Pamela Anderson's announcement of being Hep C-free inspiring or just gloating? Is there any #HopeForOurDaughters if their activism videos turn out like the one accompanying the Suffragette film marketing campaign? And of course, Starbucks' antichrist cups, Larry David's $5000 "Trump's a racist" heckle on Saturday Night Live, and whether black presidential candidates like Ben Carson are immune from criticism by the mainstream media.

Nov 6, 2015

Is publicly quitting Instagram any different than desperately seeking attention on Instagram in the first place? Is there any easy way to handle transsexual high schoolers' rights regarding locker rooms? And are there any possible Halloween costumes left that won't offend some hypersensitive douche? Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston are back after a Halloween bender to talk about these important issues, plus a Stanford student who got dumped and then claimed all sex with her boyfriend was nonconsensual, another sexist all-female movie remake, this time of "Ocean's Eleven," Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live, the importance of Latino voters, and why in the hell Angelina Jolie Pitt keeps making movies.

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