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Last Men On Earth

Men had a decent run on this planet. We can go sullen face into the abyss of feminist asexual reproduction and guys from spin class who order beer with hints of fruit or we can face the end of masculinity with a stiff upper lip, a purpose-filled boner, and some understanding of how the fuck we got stamped for extermination in the first place. I can’t remember which option involves less work. Maybe we’ll just do the sullen face thing. The Last Men on Earth isn’t an exaggeration. Search your newsstands, magazine racks, and online hotspots. There’s a war on scrotums and the scrotes are losing. Badly. No, you don’t get a last cigarette. Those were targeted for elimination before the men. You can’t fight what you don’t believe exists. Death is coming in the form of one politically correct Grim Reaper. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to have something I could call my own. Not the pants my dad poached from drunk midgets in parking structures or the bicycle with one wheel he told me would take me on grand imaginary adventures. Something special. On Last Men on Earth, we say what we want, even if that means being pushed to the front of the extruder line. See you on the other side. Ask Hank for the fresh doughnuts. He’ll know whether or not you earned them. Lex
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Now displaying: October, 2015
Oct 28, 2015

Doesn't Zooey Deschanel know the whole "celebrities giving their babies weird names" thing is wholly unoriginal at this point? Is the new all-women Ghostbusters movie empowering or sexist? And is Jeb! Bush's campaign merchandise brilliantly unique or just desperate pandering in attempt to stay relevant? Lex and Matt explore these critical topics as well as unearned pay raises, Ruby Rose's claim that gender is a spectrum, Police Chief Bratton cooking the crime stats, porn stars who date Charlie Sheen and if they deserve the inevitable disastrous consequences come their way, and whether Ronda Rousey's attractiveness and your heterosexuality are inversely related.

Oct 23, 2015

How in the hell does Taylor Swift keep selling out stadiums and making truckloads of money? Is Amy Schumer a funny comedian, funny for a woman, or just another joke thief? And should Denis Hof kept his mouth shut about Lamar Odom, or would Khloe and the Kardashians have just told everyone about Lammy's cocaine-laced sex binge at his Nevada brothel anyway? Will Lupardus (@WilliamLupardus) joins Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston to discuss these vital topics, plus that time Matt went to Paris Hilton's CD release party in Las Vegas, the science behind the power of prayer, Koko the Gorilla's kitten request, and whether or not self-proclaimed democratic socialist Bernie Sanders has any chance of winning the presidency over a year from now!

Oct 15, 2015

Can the gender pay equality movement find a better spokeswoman than top Hollywood actress Jennifer Lawrence? Is Taylor Swift right to be upset with her boyfriend Calvin Harris for getting a Thai massage, or is it even cheating if it's just a rub-n-tug without kissing? Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston are back to discuss these pressing topics, as well as Campbell's new gay soup marketing push, Zimbabwe declining to press charges on Walter Palmer (the dentist who killed Cecil the Lion), Playboy doing away with nudes and focusing on the articles, an open carry dildo protest at the University of Texas (#CocksNotGlocks) and whether #BlackNamesMatter!

Oct 7, 2015

Should Gerod Roth have been fired for his friends' racist comments on his work selfie? Is it anyone's business what Will Smith does for his kids' hopes and dreams? Is Demi Lovato's nude photoshoot for Vanity Fair supposed to be a big #empowerment piece for women just because she didn't wear makeup? Join Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston for a rousing talk about these topics, plus Kylie Jenner's new ride (as in, she purchased an automobile), Eazy-E's AIDS, and [TRIGGER WARNING] gun-related armchair activism. Also, Matt presents a special field report on Amber Rose's SlutWalk in Downtown LA. 

Oct 1, 2015

Special guest Will Lupardus (@WilliamLupardus) joins us this week to talk about #BlackLivesMatter's plan to disrupt the Twin Cities Marathon, Gigi Hadid's amazing assets bringing her body shaming, and whether Fantasy Football is more masculine or more nerdy. Also, Lex laments the rise of narcissism amongst young people, Matt touches on copulation methods (and their qualified medical assistants) for people like legless lingerie model Kanya Sesser, and allegations by Azealia Banks that the LGBT lobby is just like the KKK, or something. And then all three guys discuss their "bottom five," their lists of the worst people in the world!

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