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Last Men On Earth

Men had a decent run on this planet. We can go sullen face into the abyss of feminist asexual reproduction and guys from spin class who order beer with hints of fruit or we can face the end of masculinity with a stiff upper lip, a purpose-filled boner, and some understanding of how the fuck we got stamped for extermination in the first place. I can’t remember which option involves less work. Maybe we’ll just do the sullen face thing. The Last Men on Earth isn’t an exaggeration. Search your newsstands, magazine racks, and online hotspots. There’s a war on scrotums and the scrotes are losing. Badly. No, you don’t get a last cigarette. Those were targeted for elimination before the men. You can’t fight what you don’t believe exists. Death is coming in the form of one politically correct Grim Reaper. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to have something I could call my own. Not the pants my dad poached from drunk midgets in parking structures or the bicycle with one wheel he told me would take me on grand imaginary adventures. Something special. On Last Men on Earth, we say what we want, even if that means being pushed to the front of the extruder line. See you on the other side. Ask Hank for the fresh doughnuts. He’ll know whether or not you earned them. Lex
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Now displaying: July, 2015
Jul 29, 2015

A dentist kills a lion, drugs kill Bobbi Kristina Brown, a hooker kills a serial killer, the Cosby 35 shoot to kill, and there's a new transsexual modeling agency so could we please just let Kylie Jenner fuck legally already?

Jul 27, 2015

Cosby's exposed, Cruise may be exposed, Cait is overexposed, Ashley Madison users are exposed, 50 Cent exposed as broke, and God exposes himself to Russell Wilson.

Jul 16, 2015

Rue from the Hunger Games claims Kylie Jenner appropriates black culture, Lex & Matt claim the Duggar family appropriate cult culture, Donald Trump claims Mexicans appropriate our women & belongings, and Serena Williams appropriates masculinity while Caitlyn Jenner appropriates the Arthur Ashe courage award.

Jul 8, 2015

It's a wacky, mixed-up world. Jason Pierre-Paul gets sidelined by a firework while George Takei does an end zone dance, De'Andre Jordan goes full Mayweather, Dukes of Hazard is cancelled while ESPN does art porn. At least Ben Affleck is free to get his freak on now, released from the bonds of marriage. Sail on, Holden.

Jul 1, 2015

Will Larry Nance Jr. forgive Kobe Bryant? Will Paris Hilton forgive her Egyptian pranksters? Who gives a fuck, at least Donald Trump is still entertaining.

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