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Last Men On Earth

Men had a decent run on this planet. We can go sullen face into the abyss of feminist asexual reproduction and guys from spin class who order beer with hints of fruit or we can face the end of masculinity with a stiff upper lip, a purpose-filled boner, and some understanding of how the fuck we got stamped for extermination in the first place. I can’t remember which option involves less work. Maybe we’ll just do the sullen face thing. The Last Men on Earth isn’t an exaggeration. Search your newsstands, magazine racks, and online hotspots. There’s a war on scrotums and the scrotes are losing. Badly. No, you don’t get a last cigarette. Those were targeted for elimination before the men. You can’t fight what you don’t believe exists. Death is coming in the form of one politically correct Grim Reaper. Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to have something I could call my own. Not the pants my dad poached from drunk midgets in parking structures or the bicycle with one wheel he told me would take me on grand imaginary adventures. Something special. On Last Men on Earth, we say what we want, even if that means being pushed to the front of the extruder line. See you on the other side. Ask Hank for the fresh doughnuts. He’ll know whether or not you earned them. Lex
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Last Men On Earth
2018
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May 9, 2018

Lex and Matt sneak into Rocco's Tavern when there's no big soccer game on to talk about Amber Rose and Amanda Knox's weird discussion on sexual history and murderous tendencies, DJ Khaled's oral opposition, Johnny Depp's violent drunkenness (and Matt's apology to Amber Heard), Stormy Daniels' undeserved praise, Ashley Graham's "flawless" overweight body, Kevin Hart's friend's sex tape extortion plot, and finally, the utter ridiculousness of The Handmaid's Tale.

Apr 25, 2018

We discuss Allison Mack's role in Keith Raniere's NXIVM sex cult, how the media ignored a lesbian couple driving six adopted black kids off a cliff, Amy Schumer not being fat enough to be funny, how Shania Twain would have voted in 2016 if she wasn't Canadian, #TimesUp's exclusivity, Charlize Theron's plan to escape American racism by bringing her black babies to South Africa, and Amelia Gray's battle with anorexia and apparent indifference to teen exploitation in celeb culture, all while everyone else at Rocco's Tavern is watching Champions League soccer.

Apr 10, 2018

The boys probe into the depths of the Internet's reaction to Facebook's data collection and sales policies, and to Apu on The Simpsons for being a racial stereotype (after decades of silence on the issue). And of course there's that Florida high school student who got kicked out of class for going braless, Matt's thoughts on reverse sexism, how sorry Jimmy Kimmel is, and how white women seem to benefit most from "diversity" initiatives.

Also, we are now live on Patreon!  Get rewarded for your support by becoming a patron here: https://www.patreon.com/lastmenonearth

Mar 28, 2018

Lex and Matt return to Rocco's Tavern for a rousing discussion on Stormy Daniels, the Parkland kids' prolonged media attention (and their lack of acne), the true meaning of Saint Patrick's Day, the NFL player/cheerleader pay gap and unequal treatment, Rotten Tomatoes for women, Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent openly discussing their sexual exploits, and K-Fed still living off Britney's teat

Mar 15, 2018

Is Hollywood trying to kill the idea of masculinity?  Can transsexuals legally force Tinder to make accommodations for their inclusion?  Should a fake prince make more than a fake queen?  And when did SXSW become a venue for Katie Couric to lead a panel on being Muslim in America?  Lex and Matt squeeze in these topics just before Rocco's Tavern gets loud and rowdy for some European soccer game.

Feb 28, 2018

Lex Jurgen and Matt Ralston are back at it, this week diving into Texas' transsexual state wrestling champion, an African woman-only commune called Umoja, Funny Or Die taking the easy, safe route for comedy in a departure from their origin, Ryan Seacrest and his hairdresser's spanking allegations, NBC's "Good Girls" and the thousands of women-can-do-men-stuff-too TV shows to come, and finally, of course, stats surrounding school shootings.

Feb 14, 2018

Princeton students walk out of a class after the professor teaches about hate speech...during a class on hate speech. Sharpie messages on Sports Illustrated's #MeToo Swimsuit models. "Black Panther" is totally not from a shithole country. People knew about Harvey Weinstein but kept on working. Lex and Matt grapple with these issues, plus Rose McGowan is demanding attention and the Hollywood gender pay gap continues spitting in the face of economics.

Jan 31, 2018

Lex and Matt descend on Rocco's Tavern once again to discuss how Nicole Eggert changes her story about Scott Baio's alleged sexual misconduct from 30 years ago, sports and stage parents shoulder zero blame for their kids being sexually abused (like USA Gymnastics), Vanity Fair whitewashes the Oscars of James Franco, Woody Allen and all his weird shit, Instagram ass model Jen Selter's incident with an American Airlines flight crew, and how Kim Kardashian's mind and body are holding up after someone else had her baby.

Jan 5, 2018

We kick off 2018 chatting about CNN's big gay New Year's Eve party, Terry Crews' backfiring male #MeToo lawsuit, some guy suing Iliza Shlesinger for her girls only comedy night, Iceland's solution to unequal pay, F1 driver Lewis Hamilton's thoughts on his nephew's wardrobe choices, the new name for Hollywood's new anti-sexual harassment coalition and its fundraising, and Logan Paul's Suicide Forest video.

Dec 20, 2017

We wrap up this crazy year with ESPN's John Skipper departing the network due to substance abuse, and how they released the John Buccigross/Adrienne Lawrence texts, Anita Hill's new CASHEW gig, SI swimsuit model Paulina Porzikova on sexual harassment as a compliment, Hollywood celebrities jumping the gun on hot button social issues, Morgan Spurlock pre-confessing his sins, and finally Amanda Knox's new TV show about gender bias toward women on trial.

Dec 13, 2017

Journalist Ryan Lizza gets fired from The New Yorker for something unexplained but definitely not work-related. Mei Rui, "cancer researcher and pianist" kicked off Spirit Airlines plane for breastfeeding, films the ordeal. Lex and Matt dive deep into these topics as well as Paz de la Huerta's rape case that isn't going well, Sarah Silverman freaking out about her boyfriend purchasing an American flag, Adriana Lima's fully-clothed announcement, Bella Hadid strays from her lane and gets all political and stuff, and Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age kicks a photographer in the face mid-set. 

Dec 6, 2017

Angela Magana claims she lost her UFC 218 fight due to a sexist male referee stopping the fight prematurely, MSNBC host takes flak for gay slurs in blog posts about Charlie Crist from a decade ago, Time Magazine's short list for Person of the Year honors, Facebook's COO's warning against the #MeToo movement, and a new edition of the Morrissey Quiz (more sexual harassment victims).

Nov 22, 2017

We were stood up by another guest, but we press on to talk about Lena Dunham defending Murray Miller against teen rape allegations, Al Franken's groping history, Feminists wanting Johnny Depp removed from "Fantastic Beasts," Playboy's new Big Beautiful Playmate, Kevin Spacey and other celebrities in sex rehab, and Matt takes the new Morrisey-themed Victimization Quiz!

Nov 15, 2017

Alex Rose Wiesel joins us as well as Lex's friend Mary Kate Gaffney to talk about George H. W. Bush's ass-grabbing allegations, Facebook's cunning plan to fight revenge porn, and the Scale Of Victimization Test, Kim Kardashian's surrogate baby shower, and Matt's take on the plight of the Male half of our species.

Nov 8, 2017

Opportunistic Rose McGowan's "Brave" memoir about the evils of Hollywood, where soon there might be nobody left to produce big projects, especially since the Weinstein scandal revealed how all the big media outlets are in cahoots. Then we have Larry David telling concentration camp jokes on SNL and Taylor Swift being accused of white supremacist complicity, and Lamar Odom takes another fall toward his demise. And even though our guest never showed up, we ponder the intersection of feminism and beauty pageants.

Nov 3, 2017

Ali and Amanda of the "Things We're Too Lazy To Blog About" podcast join us to talk about Hollywood's skeletons all coming out of the closet (as well as Kevin Spacey). Lex and Matt also tackle Megan Fox comparing herself to Joan of Arc over her Transformers firing, Lindsey Vonn's idea for equality, why Leo DiCaprio gets a pass on banging a steady stream of young models, how stage moms basically sell their kids to prostitution, and Andy Dick's complaints about the unclear differences between flirting and harassment.

Oct 25, 2017

Préity Üupala joins us to talk about her background in spirituality, her views as a global citizen, and her thoughts on Harvey Weinstein, tantra and Kit Harrington's apology for his comments on sexism. We also talk ESPN's immediate failure of Barstool Van Talk, Nicki Minaj's brother's child rape case, agent Tyler Grasham's big gay young male parties and harrassment, Kate Del Castillo and Sean Penn's comparative assholishness, and Playboy's first transsexual Playmate.

Oct 18, 2017

Scar and Irene from the "Cholos Try" video series stop by to share their views on the #MeToo campaign and Mayim Bialik's opinion, Colin Kaepernick and active NFL kneelers, and P!nk withholding sex from her husband. Lex and Matt then discuss Halloween's gradual erosion into a costumed slutfest, and James Corden's Harvey Weinstein joke that pissed people off.


http://www.watchable.com/shows/13283-cholos-try

Oct 11, 2017

We're joined by LA's top dating coach Jerod Zavistosky this week for a rousing roundtable on Harvey Weinstein's harassment, Cam Newton's smugly smiling sexist reply to a female sports reporter, how a TSA agent asked out Brie Larson, Amber Rose complaining of being degraded as a "former stripper" (after forming her namesake SlutWalk), and finally ESPN and Jemele Hill.

Oct 6, 2017

Beth Bowen of Bravo's "There Goes the Motherhood" brings a refreshing female perspective to the show, as Lex and Matt also talk about Tiffany Trump and when not to take a selfie, college basketball corruption, the "semen flute" guy, Dan Bilzerian live streams himself fleeing from the Vegas massacre, and why nobody in Hollywood is screaming about Roman Polanski's kid rape

Sep 28, 2017

Richard Simmons loses in his slander suit against the Enquirer, NFL players kneel for...why, again? Hurricane Maria absolutely destroys Melissa Joan Hart's vacation, the media reports on Trump instead of more objectively important and newsworthy topics, underage hot chicks, and...reproductive coercion?

 

Sep 19, 2017

Lex and Matt are back to talk about the death of Rolling Stone and what it means for legacy media and rock n' roll, and then they get into Tom Cruise's Scientological and parental problems, Scottie Nell Hughes further clouding the definition of rape, Ed Skerin turning down his Hellboy role so an Asian (but still not Japanese) actor can have the role, Ariel Winter's tits and her stage mom's role in exploiting them, and Jaime King's thoughts on body positivity equality

Sep 13, 2017

Hollywood is going all out for social justice films and TV, plus a Ruth Bader Ginsburg biopic, Fashion Week tries to be something it simply can't be, Matt hates people who ignore the bigger picture surrounding the gender pay gap, Priyanka Chopra gets all feministy, Ted Cruz's Senate Twitter account likes a porn video, and ESPN turns a Monday Night Football broadcast into amateur hour.

Sep 7, 2017

For our 100th episode, Lex and Matt are back at Rocco's Tavern in Studio City to discuss Toni Basil's struggles as a one-annoying-hit-wonder, L'Oreal's transsexual former model's racist rant, Kate Middleton's royal tits, the stupid all-female Lord of the Flies remake, Cholo appropriation by the Jenners, Disqus's new "toxic comment" filtration/echo chamber accomodations, and the gayest pizza Brian as ever ordered.

Aug 30, 2017

Lex and Matt are back at Rocco's Tavern to discuss Colin Kaepernick's protestors, James Cameron's opinion on Wonder Woman, Amazon and Whole Foods, Matt's thoughts on why humanity is utterly doomed, Burning Man, and Farrah Avraham's vagina rejuvenation. 

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